Beyond Alanon or Codependency Anonymous:
Mental Health Counseling for "Codependent Relationships"
Help for Codependent Relationships in Seattle.
Consultation by Telephone is Available Nationally.

206-546-HELP
206-769-STOP

My counseling practice offers you personal and direct clinical guidance and counseling to support your participation in Alan, Codependency Anonymous (CODA), or other Twelve Step programs like Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous. Referrals to counselors in Seattle that help couples with problems of addiction, chemical dependency or drug abuse.

Symptoms of "codependence" have been anecdotally identified as: controlling behavior, distrust, perfectionism, avoidance of emotions, problems with intimacy, excessive caretaking, hypervigilance or physical illness related to stress. Pioneers in the addictions treatment field report that codependence is often accompanied by depression, as the codependent person succumbs to excruciating feelings of frustration or sadness over his or her inability to improve the situation.

Codependence can also be thought of as a set of maladaptive, compulsive behaviors learned by family members in order to survive in a family which is experiencing great emotional pain and stress caused, for example, by a family member's alcoholism or other addiction, sexual or other abuse within the family, a family member's chronic illness, or forces external to the family, such as poverty.

Codependency theorists maintain that codependent people may feel shame about, or try to change, his or her most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with those of another person. An example would be a wife making excuses for her husband's excessive drinking and perhaps running interference for him by calling in sick for him when he is hung over.

Such behaviors, which may well lessen conflict and ease tension within the family in the short term, are counterproductive in the long term, since, in this case, the spouse is actually supporting or "enabling" the husband's drug abuse or drinking behavior. So, sometimes, the codependent is referred to as  "the enabler."

It is also worth noting that since the wife, in the above example is dependent (relies upon) on her alcoholic husband, she may actually feel disturbed, disoriented or threatened if she sees clearly that he is emerging from his dependence; the threat to her position as a confidante and needed loved one might lead her to unwittingly resist the husband's steps towards recovery. Similarly, a codependent parent might resist their child's steps toward independence; whether early or late in life.

"Codependent" people, it is believed, have a greater tendency to enter into conflicted relationships with people who are emotionally unavailable or needy. The codependent tries to control a relationship without directly identifying and addressing his or her own needs and desires. This invariably means that codependents set themselves up for continued distress and unfulfilling lives.

Understanding and Changing Your Codependent Role:
Relationship Roles: Love Addiction ~ Obsession and Compulsion

Codependents may insist that they are sacrificially acting in another person's best interest, making it difficult for the codependent individual to see the controlling nature of their own behavior.

The Bridge to Recovery
Dr. Hart is an alumni of The Bridge to Recovery program for Codependency
 
At The Bridge to Recovery, we believe that codependence is the “dis-ease” underlying many addictions and that it is only as we address people’s codependency issues (roles) that long-term recovery can be sustained. Therefore, part of our focus is on core issues that create or contribute to relationship problems, anxiety, depression and driven-ness or compulsive behavior. Left untreated, the following issues can compromise sobriety, putting chemically dependent individuals at risk for relapse.

• Undue shame, guilt and poor self esteem
  
• Lack of mature coping skills — (arrested development)
• Repressed, back-logged emotions (resentment, rage)
  
• Lack of personal identity and self-esteem
• Lack of healthy boundaries or sense of self
  
• A tendency to act in the extreme-immoderation

The Bridge to Recovery is a program of self-development for people struggling with any negative habit: chemical dependence, codependence, or non-chemical dependencies.

Edgewood Recovery Insight: Tired of Waiting for Someone Else to Change?
Early childhood experiences shape us and go on to inform our adult lives. Past experiences, whether harmful or benign, influence our behavior in relationships, they influence how we respond emotionally when stressed and what we believe to be true about who we are. When we overlook or minimize emotionally painful events from our childhood we can fail to recognize their influence on our current life.


Dr. Patrick Hart
The Hart Center Mental Health:
Individual Codependency Counseling:
Referrals to Formal Treatment Programs

My practice helps people streamline (augment) their work with twelve step programs like alcoholics anonymous, alanon or codependency anonymous. Contemporary psychological perspectives and cognitive behavioral counseling can assist you in integrating  what you are learning in twelve step fellowship programs. These fellowships are "forever to remain non professional," so professionally guided counseling may help you to resolve problems that remain "cunning baffling and prowerful" influences that continue to sabotage your most valued relationships. You may wish to consult me for recommendations to formal treatment programs that can help you resolve issues related to codependency. Below are a few suggestions:


The Meadows
The Meadows provides a path to personal completeness and integrity, for those seeking treatment for trauma and addictions, thus serving the individual with a lifelong recovery process.

The Meadows is a multi-disorder inpatient facility specializing in the treatment of a broad range of addictions. The facility’s intensive treatment focuses on drug and alcohol addiction, sexual addictions, depression, psychological conditions, affective disorders and compulsive behaviors.

Codependency Treatment: Suite 101
The Pioneers of the Codependency Model & Counseling Field

• Melody Beattie
• John Bradshaw
• Terry Kellogg
• Claudia Black
• Pia Melody
• Sharon Wegscheider
• Carol Cannon

Codependent No More!
Seattle Codependency Counseling:
Relationship Counselor for Recovering Couples

"Codependency is the pain in adulthood that comes from being wounded in childhood and leads to a high probability of relationship problems and addictive / compulsive behavior. It is a combination of immature thinking, feeling, and behavior that generates an aversive relationship with the self (self-loathing), which the codependent individual acts out through self-destructive or unduly self-sacrificial behavior." ~Carol Cannon The Bridge to Recovery

Seattle Codependency Counseling

Beyond Alanon and Codependency Anonymous
Professional Help for Issues of Codependency